She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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