Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
