True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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