So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize