not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
