Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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