Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
