Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
