D3 body, D1 cock
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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