Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
