And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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