Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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