My boss' voice literally gives me gas
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
