jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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