Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
