just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
im on a boat
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