u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
