BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm too high and old for this...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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