Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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