Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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