Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
