Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize