I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
