So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
