I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
