You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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