I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
