the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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