i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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