Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
