"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
