who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
