I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We have so much sex to catch up on
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize