this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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