fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
