I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize