yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
