Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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