Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
