i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
