Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
