so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize