I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
The Olympian is in my bed
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
