with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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