My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
