i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
