You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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