So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
