idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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