We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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