Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
