Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
