I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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