i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
