Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Let's get the cat blown out
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize