The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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