these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
