omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
