Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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