We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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