When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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