They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Did I show you my penis last night?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
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