Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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