You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize