Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
MIDGETS
????
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
How does it feel to date your dad?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
