i always forget guys have bellybuttons
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
