If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
