so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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