so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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